Today feels like any other day.
Woke up, drank my coffee, and thought about what to have for Sunday breakfast.
My husband and I will probably enjoy our usual Sunday routine; relax, have our business meeting(we are partners in real estate), meal prep, and if it doesn’t rain, take a motorcycle ride to get ice cream!
I truly do love my life. I have seen darkness and hard times, so believe me when I say, I know how blessed I am.
This Sunday, is anything but ordinary.
Yesterday, we moved our last baby to her new apartment. Our little peanut left the nest.
I had never really thought much about this day. I was too busy raising my 4 children, at one time, all under the age of 6! In those early years, I barely had time to eat or take a bathroom break….much less think about the next 18+ years.
But, after our son left for school last fall, I knew my time as a full time mama was drawing to a close.
I have been a mom since the early age of 20. I’m now 44.
My entire adulthood has been encircled my babies. From diapers to driving. Proms, bonfires, step throat, boyfriends, girlfriends, and of course teenage drama….I’ve done it all.
Now I must take time to remember who I truly am once again. Take time to care for “me”.
That should be interesting.
Time to reinvent.
I didn’t really “freak out” until she and her girlfriend took a few things over to the apartment early on Friday night. I was doing my hair and the reality of what was happening struck me. It actually brought me to my knees on the bathroom floor. Of course my dog was there to lick my tears and let me cry. And my mother in law took my call, which was just me…sobbing.
I wanted to stop her from leaving. I wanted my old life back.
However, I know life must go on.
As I have been reflecting, I recently realized, it all happened in a moment.
Like, literally, A MOMENT.
A flash of lightning in the night sky.
And just like that, the 4 souls that God gifted to me have grown up.
A friend told me a quote recently that really hit home. “Our children are not ours, but are gifts lent to us by God. Our job is to help them to learn to fly”.
I feel incredibly blessed that God chose me to be their mom. And, I have to say I am pretty damn proud of who they have become.
Caring, hard working, generous, respectful individuals who know their worth.
They have all flown and done well transitioning into adult life. And I’ve done pretty well adjusting too.
I see the older three each week. I have my running buddy, coffee date, and my personal shopper.
It seems you have to “navigate” your way as a mom when they leave home. Kind of find your new relationship with each of them, as they have grown and changed, but so have you.
It works out nicely for the most part.
But, still, here I sit, logically knowing this, while tears well up on my cheeks.
I think it must be normal to feel the emotions that are trudging through my heart. Panic…what will I do when? Who will I take care of? And all the what ifs.
Sadness…realizing that time of childhood is over. Rushing through memories to make sure I burn them into my mind. And wishing(kind of) to have it all go back to the way it once was.
But, then, I look to the future. And I feel excitement. We can travel, go out as late as we want(that would be 10pm for us), make dinner for 2!, and maybe I can get away with doing laundry once or twice a week?!?
Haha. I know it’ll all be ok.
Gods got it.
And it is such a gift. I was able to be present, be near and there for this beautiful journey.
To watch a soul come into the world and take their first breath is extraordinary. But to be able to nurture them and stand back to watch them blossom has been one of the most miraculous experiences of my entire life. That may sound dramatic, but I don’t care. It is, oh, so true.
And now that last little “birdie” has flown, what do I do?
Well, luckily, my husband had been preparing us for this day for years. We have already planned more travel adventures, we’ll continue to take cycle trips, dive further into our business, and I plan to continue to enjoy all that this life has to offer. Hobbies are such an important part of finding your identity again. Mine happen to be healthy ones, crossfit and yoga. I may, however, need to take up retail therapy again….. just to ease the pain😉
With all of my blogs, and in all that I share, I hope this helps the other “empty nesters” out there.
We did it!
We raised our children to be strong and confident enough to go out and change the world.
Parenting, Phase 1…..complete ✔️
Now onto the fun stuff….phase 2, 3 and ???
“Enjoy the little things, because one day you will wake up and realize those were really the big things.”