I don’t have the energy(or desire, honestly) to do my typical November gratitude posts. I’ve been doing them for more than a decade on social media..every November.

More for me than anyone. After all, it’s the month of thankfulness; right?

It’s typically a look back at a year, great times, a life well lived.

Easy peasy, nice calm flow.

That’s how I prefer my life to roll, anyway.

However; the past 2 years have been a mystical, chaotic mix of stress, rushing, fear, and pushing ahead.

I’m finally past it and sitting calmly in the Present.

I have this weird sense of strength inside now. This unfamiliar authenticity that I really kinda “dig”.

Life is truly a blink.

The end of 2023 ended with the beginning of my Mom’s decline and began with hope for my best friend’s remission.

But, as life transpired, I had to accept that there was already a greater plan in motion.

Learning, very quickly, that I really have no control.

Losing a loved one is hard.

I don’t care how old, how young or how strong you are. They take pieces of you with them when they go. Pieces you find yourself desperately searching for. Over and over again; to the threat of exhaustion.

When you finally come down and accept that without them, life will look different, you can then begin the long journey of healing. ❤️‍🩹

And, that’s what I have been doing.

I’ve told my husband and close friends that 2024 and 2025 have been the worst years of my life; to date.

Hell, they have even trumped 6th grade.

It’s interesting when you have some time to stop and let your mind wander. I

t’s incredible how resilient the human spirit has become.

This past year, I have had some moments.

New highs and some very LOW lows.

From drinking martinis and head banging in my living room to shake out the shit.

To running away to my daughters to let them take care of me and remind me of my power.

I’ve been blessed to be a part of my grand baby’s first year of life…….I don’t have the words for how she has encompassed my entire heart. 💙

I’ve stopped “looking” for Joan in my other friends and have learned to love them for what they bring to my life.

And I have smiled through tears as I hear my dear Mom in my words and my mind.

And of course, my old Pup Bolo. I’m still unraveling from all the lessons that sweet soul brought into my world.

Life has a funny way of shaking us up when we think we have it licked. Am I right?

It’s in those moments that we grow closer (or go farther away) from God.

There was only one day that I screamed at Him. I was so pissed for all He was taking from me. And then, I fell to my knees and He reminded me of all I had left here.

So much Love.

So much Kindness and Compassion.

So much left.

That’s how we move on.

We have to learn to live without the one who left, as we hold them close.

In our memories, in our stories, in our good deeds.

“Be the things you loved most about the people who are gone”.

So I began again.

A reset.

A shutdown, a rebirth.

It’s been a year of growth and I think that is beautiful.

You see, as humans, we take so much for granted. Our loved ones, the little moments.

And I’m here to tell you, that’s all that matters.

I don’t sit and smile about the lavish gifts or trips my Mom or my Bestie shared with me. I laugh and cry and smile over the simple things.

The times my Mom and I had a slumber party and stayed up until midnight talking. The time I made her gluten free Mac and cheese. And the day we laughed til we cried.

The crazy text messages to my Ioanie about paper cuts, the paper bag picnic, how every time I took a selfie of us, I made sure to catch her off guard.

The mornings alone with my Bolo, our walks and talks, and the way his fur felt.

We look at loss in such a way that we feel angry and robbed.

And sometimes we never move on from it.

Grief is heavy.

I’ve lifted some barbells that were loaded down, friends. This was a weight I could not carry alone.

So, Jesus did.

He came along side of me and carried my burden until I was strong enough to lift it on my own.

In the passing of my loved ones, I found a renewed faith. In watching each one of them slowly leave this earth; I acquired Peace.

In their final days; there was an indescribable peace, yet vibrance within each of them. They had accepted their path and knew where they were going.

They trusted it.

God was near and in the midst of their departures; He was also clearing my head and heart. Although I didn’t realize it at the time.

So this year, I don’t have 25+ things that I’ll post to be grateful for.

I have one.

LOVE. 💗

It is because of His love that I am healing.

And all the glory goes to My Lord!

However, it’s because of my Mom’s love, Joanie’s love, Bolos love; that I am becoming a better human. They were phenomenal souls and left me with big shoes to fill.

The love of my incredible Bri, who let me scream and cry and release; all while he held me close.

The love of my beautiful daughters, waiting for me to break and dropping everything to be my strength.

The love of my sons, their kind; yet stable compassion and hearts.

My friends, my in laws, my clients.

God had me enveloped in LOVE.

And for that, I am beyond thankful this year.

Here’s to carrying on traditions of those we hold dear and making new memories with those we love. It’s in the simple moments that we carry on the LOVE in the grandest ways.

May your life be blessed beyond measure and may you walk into this Holiday season knowing you are NEVER ALONE 🩷.

Always a part of me in each moment of every day:

My Own, my Joanie, My Bolo.

Blessings,

Linda 💙