Every summer, around this time, I start feeling impatient.
I cannot wait for autumn!
The cooler weather,the beautiful leaves, first day of school, and things just seem to slow a bit. Ahhhhh…..Autumn.
This year really isn't that different, although as I lay in bed the other night, it occurred to me that it will be.
I am a Mama, through and through. Whenever asked what my favorite "job" has been, my greatest success in life, or what I love the most….it is being a Mama💜
As my children have turned into teenagers and young adults, I have had to learn to "let them go"…just a little bit.
Later curfews, more time with friends and the understanding that they are individuals.
Although it has been difficult…..it has been more amazing watching them fly.
I go to bed pretty early most nights, as I wake around 4am, to prepare to workout.
9-9:30pm to be exact.
Sometimes the kids are still at work or with friends.
I fall asleep, but not truly asleep until I know my babies(who are now 16 and 18), are safe and sound at home.
So we have this routine where when they arrive, they knock on my bedroom door.
The knock typically scares me. But they say they are home and "I love you" and then I am able to fall fast asleep.
May seem odd, but it's so comforting to me. And who knows? Maybe even to them.
The last couple nights, after my son has arrived home, have kept me awake.
I realized the seasons were changing once again.
Wasn't he just starting middle school?????
And so it's time for the leaves to fall….
He starts college and moves in a couple of weeks.
The other night it hit me. How many more times will he be here to knock?
Huh. Kinda brings a tear to my eye.
There won't be many more.
Now granted, I still have my beautiful 16 year old at home, but it still stings.
I will wonder if he is safe. I will wonder if he needs me.
Until the season allows ME to change and accept.
The reason I am sharing this is that I thought about the changing seasons, as I was laying awake the other night, after the knock on my door.
We want winter to hurry along, we wait impatiently for spring. Summer flies by, and then we look to Autumn for change.
What if we just enjoyed it all?
The change of "life's" many seasons.
What if we lived in each moment, not anticipating what comes next?
What if we inhaled the cold air and went on those late night walks in the blizzard?
What if we sat up past midnight by the bonfire on a cool Autumn eve?
What if we looked at every single KNOCK on the DOOR as another opportunity to live?
Now, soon, I won't have to wait up for the kids to arrive home. But, I'll tell you this.
I won't take for granted the times they kept me up talking until late at night.
The times they were sick and needed their Mama.
The moments when they were young.
It's all beautiful, friends.
It's all this turning, beautiful, untouched mystery.
It's called life.
Enjoy the seasons of life like you never have before this year.
Because you never know when the last leaf will fall. 🌳
And don't forget to listen for the knock….I know I will be 😉