I just knew I wouldn’t cry.
But, as I go through old photos today, I realize time has gotten away from me. Or so it may seem.
Our youngest moved out for school about a month ago today.
I didn’t cry much at all before the actual day.
I kind of surprised myself, to be honest.
I was strong, kept it together, and moved forward as an empty nester.
I knew to stay busy right off the bat.
I dove into my workouts, agreed to do a local dance event, and even started prepping to run a discussion group. Real estate is busy, my husband and I have been traveling, having a cocktail on a Sunday afternoon, and after all these years….sleeping in.
Life is good.
God is good.
So why the tears today?
Well, at breakfast this morning, I realized that we had taken the last “First day of school” photos about one year ago today.
Why that brought me to tears, I don’t know.
It’s just a picture, on my phone…that I posted on Facebook…and sent to family and friends… a few times.
Well, clearly, it was much more than that ❤
It was a moment.
And all at once, I felt something stir inside.
It’s a time that we can’t have again.
A time of innocence that can never return to the front entry way of our home.
I always enjoyed my children’s first day of school.
For so many reasons……
When the kids were young, I was the Mom who wanted them to have the most memorable “first day” every year.
From “Welcome Home” signs and balloons, elaborate breakfasts, and the first day of school cards and gifts(which they all got again this year), and probably will forever😉, I did it all.
I felt so very blessed to be able to watch every new year unfold.
To be there for the skinned knees, listening to them read at night, the proms, girlfriends, sports…and just to see it all.
I sometimes think I gave them those memories because I had wanted something similar to that growing up. And I can only hope it meant as much to them as it did to me.
The past month has been a whirlwind for me. In every sense of the word.
But, I realized in the quiet of today, that I am feeling and learning things about myself that have been dormant for a long time.
It’s quite inspiring, actually.
As I continue to move toward this new chapter, I have to keep reminding my heart to keep up.
My body and mind are going toward the new adventures and learning about the young adults they have become, but my heart so desperately wants the little curly haired boy and the little girl with the bouncy pony tails to walk through the door one(or two) more times.😉
But, as life goes on, we must adjust and grow.
And growing is one of my very favorite things to do!
I’ll keep the old photos close, the memories even closer.
And, as my children grow, I realize I’ll just have to adjust the lens and keep creating new snapshots to smile, laugh and cry over.
I’m finding joy in the accomplishment of raising 4 wonderful humans. Finding satisfaction in their successes and their strengths. And hoping that maybe I had a small part in it.
So, tomorrow morning, I’ll work out. I’ll make breakfast, kiss my husband, and go on with my day.
And, maybe for a moment, I’ll pause and remember all those amazing “first days”.
Tomorrow may not be another “first day” of school in my house, but it is definitely another First Day.
Another chance to live, to enjoy and to make more memories.
Full of possibilities.
Full of gratitude.
Full of love.
To my babies, “Thanks for the memories, the “awful” school supply shopping days, the mornings of packing lunches, the warm cookies, the times I walked you home from the bus”.
Those were the days.
Some of the best days(so far) of my entire life. 💕
And to begin again?
What a beautiful blessing from above.
Now… onto taking the photos of my daughter teaching, my son’s, who work so hard, and my youngest becoming an adult.
To capture it all!!!
With age and time, wisdom does step in.
I know now what I didn’t know then.
Be ever present and take every moment in, like it’s your last breath.
Because after the moments pass, all we have is a snapshot of a memory. ❤
Here’s to new beginnings for so many tomorrow and always.