These last 2 weeks have been hard. As I mentioned before, we are displaced due to home renovation, just as I began “Level 2” of my nutritional journey. What am I thinking??????
This past Saturday, I woke up to my 4am alarm, ready to hit the gym with an empty stomach, to conquer the treadmill. I woke up feeling weak and exhausted. My body screamed, “Noooooo” and I listened. I reached out to my trainer to let him know I missed my workout and would go on Sunday. Sunday came and more of the same followed. Not only am I exhausted, but I am pissed off, on the verge of tears, and I just want a FUCKING CUPCAKE or even a beer!!!!!!😩
Trust me, there isn’t an Emogi out there to describe my rage. I am hangry. And now, I’m pissed. I have forgotten my WHY.
I worked most of the weekend, as real estate agents often do…the whole time focusing on my pain. Not literal pain, more like entitlement, squashed expectations on how this journey would go down, and how badly I wanted chocolate.
How was my weekend? Shitty.
And I don’t really ever say that.
I am starving, tired and….big mistake here…”I don’t LOOK” any different. You see, I forgot my WHY. I didn’t sign up for this disciplined way of life to look different, I’m not on a weight loss challenge. I am out to crush my inner demons. You know, the voices from the past….telling me how bad I suck at life, how little I am worth and how much I CANNOT DO. I call bullshit. On myself.
WHY? Why am I doing this? So many have asked. This is my why…..
“To be better and stronger and more in tune with Linda than my soul has ever been. To know my worth and the strength I have to offer to others. To erase my fathers voice forever.”
And keep in mind, friends, this is only step one.
My trainer, Dave, is a pretty special guy. He knows me very well. Which, I feel, is so crucial to this type of challenge. He calmed me and reminded me of my goals yesterday and had me come in to do a body scan(to evaluate my progress) today. I hate when he is right. “Consistency, sacrifice and hard work always pays off.” Right, Dave?
Yes, it does.
I am back on track and on fire again. Ready to embrace the suck.
And then there’s my “forever friend”, Joan. This lady is a powerhouse, but just doesn’t know it yet. She is on a journey of her own and is seeing amazing results….in so many areas of her life. She is becoming empowered, stronger and changing in so many ways that she is now impacting the lives of those around her. She sent me an emotional text this morning, reminding me what I have given to her and the impact I am making…..she has no idea how that made my morning. “Thank you” are 2 very powerful and moving words.
It’s a ripple effect……and it is so beautiful.
You see, what Dave gave to me and what I learned last year(Level 1), I gave freely to Joan, who will now continue to share with her people, and so on and so forth.
What I have seen in the midst of my darkness, is that there is light. It’s mind blowing to me the “Angels” that show up when you need them the most. Today, there names are Dave and Joan💜.
When my wings won’t work, they help me to fly. When my heart is heavy, they remind me of the love and support that surrounds me. Angels. They do walk among us.
I found this quote below shortly after I finished my workout this morning. It gave me power and stirred something inside.
I hope it does for you today, too.
Without the pain(which can be various things), there can be no rising.
I have decided to feel it, embrace it, sit with it and make it a part of me. Then, when I have reached my goals, it will no longer control me.
Remember, First the pain, then the Rising. Check out Glennon Doyle Melton….she’s got game, and some amazing advice.
Be blessed and empowered today my friends!
Renovate and RISE 🦋🦋🦋