When my children were younger, I would sometimes call my Mom to vent on her.
“I don’t know how I can keep doing this!”, I would say. She would laugh and say, “Enjoy it, and whatever you do, don’t blink.”
Great advice, Mom. Great advice.
Looking back, it sure was.
My 4 children, all under the age of 6, could be quite overwhelming for me at times. Their dad worked a lot(mainly 3rd shift),I ran an in home daycare(10-12 hours a day),and was going to school to be a real estate agent, along with the many responsibilities of a mother.
I was exhausted.
Every night, I would go to bed and fall asleep the moment my head hit the pillow….only to be woke up shortly after by the cries of one of my babies. Ok, baby asleep….and now someone needs water….or a diaper change…..or to be cuddled from a bad dream.
But, every time I told my mom how “awful” it was, she’d just say, “Don’t blink”. I remember thinking she could at least offer some helpful advice instead of saying the same “lazy” phrase.
What I now know is that she meant for me to enjoy it. All of it.
The sleep deprived state, their tiny little hands, the need for mama’s arms, even the 8th time my little man would sneak out of his bed each night.
My little man opened the front door to leave for school this morning. We always hug and say “I love you”, “Have a great day”, “Bye Baby”. I started to say that and then stopped. I said,”Hey, wait. Only a few more days that you will walk out that door to go to school.”
I welled up with the thought.
My baby boy will graduate high school next week.
When did that happen??
He used to walk around in his little red alien sleeper and dance to the Wiggles songs.
I now know what my Mom meant when she advised me to not blink.
My baby grew up, right before my very eyes. He changed and emerged and became this amazing, outstanding, handsome young man.
You’d think it wouldn’t affect me….I’ve had 2 children graduate before, right?
Each beautiful baby holds a special place in this mama’s heart. They have each shaped my soul and the way my eyes perceive the world. It has been my greatest joy and blessing watching them grow.
But, just like so many of us mamas, busy with life……I blinked.
I cleaned the house on a sunny day, I had to cook dinner, had to go to work. I sometimes wonder what I missed.
But, as time marches on, I realize, I cannot go back. I can only relish in the memories of their baby smells, their pure, innocent laughter and hope and pray that I clothed them in the strength, confidence and hope that I tried so hard to.
It’s the one thing we can’t control, want so much more of, and sometimes we feel so robbed by.
When my baby boy walks down the aisle, next week, in his purple cap and gown, I will remember it all❤
His beautiful eyes, the bond we feel every time he gives his random hugs(just because), “Bob the Builder”, playing soccer in the yard, riding bikes together, antiquing, learning to drive, and very soon…….I will watch him leave the “nest” to fly.
Time has given me SO much to hold onto.
But, I promise you, if I could go back ….in TIME…
I would not
Sending huge congratulations to the graduates and huge hugs to all the mamas out there.